What NOT to say

grieving-parent

What NOT to say

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I read an article recently about what NOT to say to someone who is grieving. I thought I’d post (daily) the ones that hit home. I may or may not wholeheartedly agree with these statements. But they aren’t something I want to hear and could possibly justify a throat punch….

“God never gives us more than we can handle.

How do you know God never gives us more than we can handle?

Seriously. How do you know that? Did you read that in Scripture somewhere? Did God come down and tell you that?

Because from everything I know about God, two things are absolutely clear:

God does not “give” tragedy to people. God does not cause evil. A God who causes evil (for testing or because he needs another angel) is an evil God. I understand that there is a more nuanced philosophical discussion that could happen here. But at the root of it, I will always insist that God never be the cause of evil.

God allows people to find themselves in situations that are bigger than they can handle. That’s the nature of learning to trust God. Understand God’s loving care for us. It’s all bound up in the idea that when we are out of control, God is still sovereign. He is still working the waves. The darkness and death into something, not that we can control, but something that can be redeemed.

So, no, on all accounts. This statement misses the point and should be avoided, as well.” Hence, what NOT to say.

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